That's Why
by myshipperheart17
Summary: Fluffy little engaged Captain Swan moment - a future vision of what Emma might say to Killian when she's telling him what made her want to marry him. Vague, non-specific spoilers for all seasons. I don't own these wonderful characters, the OUAT team does - I just adore them!


**_Just a fluffy little future vision of what Emma might say if she was telling Killian exactly what made her want to marry him..._**

* * *

His breathing had settled into that deep, even rhythm it falls into when he's sleeping, a pattern she memorised after so many nights of watching him sleep, when she was still trying to get her head around the fact she had him back here with her after the Underworld.

"It's funny, you know," she whispers, "I've been trying to figure out my vows, and tying myself in knots over it… pun not intended."

She smiles against his chest, carefully lifting her hand from his waist to admire her engagement ring for what feels like the millionth time.

"We only get a few seconds, a minute or so at most, to sum up why we're doing this, and a couple of years ago, if anyone had asked me to say anything about how I felt about someone I'd have struggled to even manage that. But with us... it just isn't enough."

She freezes as he shifts a little underneath her, worried that she might have disturbed him, but his breathing stays steady, that comforting rhythm under her palm, his breath warm against her forehead, and she relaxes back into him.

"The first thing I remember, the earliest memory I have, is one of the other girls in the home I was in leaving to go live with her new family. Even then I was thinking "why not me?", and "why does she have to leave me". And that's what it was like year after year. People leaving and never coming back. Friends disappearing, potential families turning their backs on me. And eventually I got tired of trying, so I put up my guard and stopped reaching out. Then I met Neal, and I let my guard down. And for all that he had my best interests at heart, him leaving me broke me. I stopped believing anyone would ever really stick around and I tried to convince myself that I didn't care if they did."

She presses a kiss to his chest and realises that at some point during that last speech, his hand has moved from its place on her lower back to her shoulder, and his deep, even breathing has shifted. She can't be sure that he's awake, but even if he is, she realises that she doesn't mind if he hears this. In fact, a part of her hopes he does. Because as much progress as she's made, she isn't certain she could say what she's about to say in any other position but here in the quiet dark of their new bedroom, in his arms, both of them hazy with sleep.

"And then I met you, and I felt this spark. Rage, mostly, to start with…"

There's a definite hitch in his breath now, an attempt to conceal a laugh she thinks. But she keeps going, her hand drawing lazy patterns on his skin.

"But the more we talked I realised we were just so… similar. And every time I looked at you I felt this pull towards you that I tried to ignore. I told you so many times not to keep trying, because usually that's what happened anyway. I was so used to people leaving me and hurting me that eventually people would try to get close to me and I'd push them away before they had the chance. But you never left."

His hand squeezes her shoulder now, and there's absolutely no doubt he's listening. She takes a shaky breath, before carrying on.

"I don't know how you did it, but you just got me, and you knew exactly what I needed. I didn't need someone to say they were going to stay, I needed them to show me, and that's what you did. You broke that cycle, that pattern I just expected to keep happening. And no matter how many times I pulled away from you, you just waited patiently, reminding me over and over again that you loved me. Helping me believe in myself and my magic."

She tilts her head up to look at him and feels a nervous smile tug at her lips as she realises his eyes are open and he's watching her. His hand tangles in her hair and she hesitates, the reality of being so completely open with another person settling in. But the way he's looking at her, and the way he has made her feel… she wants this. She wants a no secrets, know me to my soul kind of connection with him, and as overwhelming as it is, there's no turning back now.

"You know, when we found out this is true love, we didn't really get a chance to talk about what that meant for us."

He nods but doesn't interrupt, his fingers gently running through her hair, brushing against her neck.

"I know they say it's fate, and I like the idea that you and I were meant to be… but what I like more is how things actually happened between us. I feel like fate makes things sound too… easy? I don't know, maybe that sounds stupid. I was kind of difficult to fall in love with, but you did and you never gave up on me. You let me trust you at my own pace and you made it fun and exciting when I needed it to be, and you supported me and made me feel safe and secure even when I was making it seem impossible. It was hard work for both of us, but I think that makes this even more special. I think that's what makes this true love, more than any fate or destiny or magical "written in the stars" stuff. I was terrified to let my walls down and you showed me that it would be worth it, and because of that I fell completely in love with you, after years of never letting anyone in. I finally let myself be vulnerable because you made it worth the risk. In fact, you made me feel so safe it hardly felt like a risk any more."

It's dark, but she's pretty sure that his eyes are filling up, as he presses a kiss to her temple.

"Before, I was strong. I could handle myself, I was independent, I didn't want to need anyone, and for the most part, I did just fine on my own. But meeting you made me a different kind of strong. I'm brave in so many more ways now. I feel like I can see what I want from my future. You make me feel wanted, and content, and I know that sounds like such a small, simple thing, but it was all I ever wanted when I was that scared, lonely kid in the foster system. You've made me more trusting and more willing to give people a second chance."

He takes a breath as if he's about to speak and she presses her finger to his lips.

"Almost done, I promise…"

He grins, kissing her fingertip and keeping quiet to let her finish her monologue.

"So that's why I'm marrying you. You're everything I could ever have wanted, and since I met you and you helped me see that Storybrooke is Henry's home, and mine, my life has been unrecognisable. If I could go back to that scared kid and tell her that it's all going to be okay, I would. Because one day she meets you, and all those guards she'll spend so long putting up will come down. And she'll learn to trust again."

She doesn't think she's ever seen anyone look quite as overwhelmed with joy as he does right at this moment.

"I love you so much," she whispers, "And that, Captain, is what I'll mean this weekend when I tell you at the altar that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

She's barely finished her sentence when he's kissing her, pulling her so closely against him she can hardly breathe.

They break apart for air and he traces the side of her face with his thumb.

"Swan, I don't know what to say," he finally says, quietly, his eyes locked with hers, "Only that I love you more than you can imagine."

She smiles, snuggling back down against his chest, closing her eyes and feeling a rush of excitement as she considers just how close she now is to marrying this man.

"I only have one comment," he whispers against her hair, "You said you were difficult to fall in love with… you couldn't be more wrong."

She glances back up at him, and he's looking at her again like she's the most important thing in the world.

"Falling in love with you was the easiest thing I've ever done."

* * *

 ** _Hope you enjoyed! All the love for Captain Swan 3 reviews welcome!_**


End file.
